So there are boys and there are boys. Nice boys, beautiful boys, responsible and reckless.
So many types and styles, I think I understand a little more now why people who are single stay single. How can you choose just one!
Some boys become friends. Some you lock eyes with and lustful thoughts enter your mind. More importantly though, is that sometimes a guy who you never previously had lustful thoughts about can just smile at you once a certain way (or put their head in your lap) and then suddenly there is that spark.
I guess I have been around too long now to mistake that spark for anything more than it is. Love is something else entirely, but that spark can develop into love if it is the right person. Funny thing is that spark is not limited to just the right person. In fact plenty of times we feel that spark for the wrong person.
I have a friend, a boy, a beautiful, smart boy and there was a spark, but I never took it further, because I knew deep down he isn't the right person. A great person, but not for me, my life goals and his are at opposite ends of the spectrum. More importantly, he wouldn't know the difference between a star trek person and a star wars person, or who Minmei or Lisa Hayes are.
The other day he told that he had met someone. He described her to me and she is nothing like me, she is the right kind of person for him and I am not the right kind. I hope he hasn't been feeling insulted by my refusal to act upon the spark between us, but I want both pheromones and a good match. If I had acted he would have missed the opportunity with this girl, tall beautiful and with a similar lifestyle to his. I am very happy for him.
I am enjoying the freedom of not being with someone and right now I have the patience to wait for the right kind of person to come along or perhaps I might suddenly feel that spark for someone I already know.
So, I guess what I am saying is I no longer mistake lust for love, but from my experience there are still lots of girls my age doing just that and boys too. Sure I expect to have to make compromises if or when I meet someone else, but I am who I am and that isn't going to change. I am not going to mould myself into something else because I felt a spark with someone who doesn't really get me.
Unless he is a real life version of Rick Hunter, then all bets are off.